Just boarded the plane for the US and I am one of the first on board (I don’t mess around – I have strategy, I have tactics and a determined, single-minded focus on minimising my time queuing in airports – executed with military precision).
Ah, in my seat, jacket has been taken and hung up, spectacles, book, newspaper – all secreted in handy places. Pre flight drink in hand, shoes and briefcase in overhead bin, sigh, relax, airport hustle and bustle behind me, flight looks as if it is going to depart on time..And what, may I ask, is that big, sleek, confident mouse doing, nonchalantly strolling down the aisle? (And why am I talking to myself as if I am observing an interesting person with a briefcase and devil-may-care attitude).
We look at each other… and after a few seconds of eye to eye contact, it decides I hold no further interest and scurries under the engineering marvel known as a flat bed seat arrangement. (where the cheese and crumbs tend to accumulate – I know, I have retrieved some of my lost articles – phone, glasses case, etc. – from within those stygian depths). I look around (rather geek like), to see if anyone else has seen it, but hardly anyone else boarded yet. People now starting to meander on-board...
Ah, in my seat, jacket has been taken and hung up, spectacles, book, newspaper – all secreted in handy places. Pre flight drink in hand, shoes and briefcase in overhead bin, sigh, relax, airport hustle and bustle behind me, flight looks as if it is going to depart on time..And what, may I ask, is that big, sleek, confident mouse doing, nonchalantly strolling down the aisle? (And why am I talking to myself as if I am observing an interesting person with a briefcase and devil-may-care attitude).
We look at each other… and after a few seconds of eye to eye contact, it decides I hold no further interest and scurries under the engineering marvel known as a flat bed seat arrangement. (where the cheese and crumbs tend to accumulate – I know, I have retrieved some of my lost articles – phone, glasses case, etc. – from within those stygian depths). I look around (rather geek like), to see if anyone else has seen it, but hardly anyone else boarded yet. People now starting to meander on-board...
After an interesting debate with myself (good angel – dark angel stuff) I decide to tell cabin crew (yes, fully aware that this may have repercussions, but on the other hand, do I really want to be in a plane with a family of rodents chewing away at avionics cables…)
Anyway – after much consternation, “did you really see a mouse?”/“are you absolutely sure you saw a mouse” (how much has he had to drink) to which I respond “if you are sure that mice pose no risk to the flight then I am happy to be mistaken and will collude in a cover up”.
Lots of cabin crew trying to discreetly search in, under and around the seat, and finally the Pilot announces we have to disembark (some Americans looking confused until one says – “ I think he means deplane”) and find a replacement plane due to a “technical problem” with this aircraft.
Collect stuff, put on shoes, trudge off …back to the lounge, feeling a tad guilty.
We were on a new plane and underway in less than 3 hours – and they made up some time on the flight. While waiting I completed some work, treated myself to a back and shoulder massage, and had a couple of glasses of very nice white wine.
The other passengers did not know the nature of the “technical problem” and believing that discretion is the better part of valour, I did not reveal my intimate knowledge of the technical problem… nor confess in my role in the delay.
Footnote: during the flight the cabin services director told me that the plane we had abandoned had “mouse problems” a few weeks earlier and they had “de-moused it” (he was obviously picking up Americanisms on this transatlantic shift) and thanked me for reporting it as they believed there was a family of mice on the plane.
Anyway – after much consternation, “did you really see a mouse?”/“are you absolutely sure you saw a mouse” (how much has he had to drink) to which I respond “if you are sure that mice pose no risk to the flight then I am happy to be mistaken and will collude in a cover up”.
Lots of cabin crew trying to discreetly search in, under and around the seat, and finally the Pilot announces we have to disembark (some Americans looking confused until one says – “ I think he means deplane”) and find a replacement plane due to a “technical problem” with this aircraft.
Collect stuff, put on shoes, trudge off …back to the lounge, feeling a tad guilty.
We were on a new plane and underway in less than 3 hours – and they made up some time on the flight. While waiting I completed some work, treated myself to a back and shoulder massage, and had a couple of glasses of very nice white wine.
The other passengers did not know the nature of the “technical problem” and believing that discretion is the better part of valour, I did not reveal my intimate knowledge of the technical problem… nor confess in my role in the delay.
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